What’s your name?
Diwa Oro. I was born in the Philippines but grew up in Texas, and moved to Chicago in 2016.
How did you get into the nightlife scene in Chicago?
I got in because of student loans. Five years ago, an ex told me to try out dancing. Life was expensive so I auditioned. That was five years ago and here I am now.
What’s it like to gogo dancing and perform?
When I'm dancing, I am praying. It’s very much like a ritual. I pretend like I'm a goddess when I'm performing. I pretend like I'm something to be worshiped and sometimes it doesn't even feel like I'm pretending.
You must have been raised religious.
I was raised Catholic and went to Catholic school but I do not consider myself a Catholic anymore. When I say I'm praying, that's not in the sense of a Catholic prayer. When I'm praying on stage, I'm praying to whoever has the capacity to listen out there.
Do you feel like nightlife is connected to a new understanding of religion?
Clubs feel like church mass. A lot of queer people have religious trauma but when we go to a club every Sunday it feels like church. Even when you give a drag queen or stripper a tip it’s like your offering.
Tell me about a memorable night in Chicago nightlife.
Haha, ok. When I first started dancing another veteran dancer invited me out to a party with one of his clients. I didn’t know the client but I went.
We met up with the client who was doing a lot of this...substance. It was kind of freaking me out because after a while the client passed out. I started panicking because I thought he was dead. I was like, oh my god, we killed him!
At this point I was basically crying and hyperventilating so I went home. The morning after the same client texted me, “that was so much fun, we should do this again”.
That sounds intense! How did you get into escorting?
I am from a Catholic immigrant family. There were not a lot of safe spaces to explore the questions I had about my sexual feelings growing up. So when I was 17 I went on Craigslist. I was looking for older men who had experience. Somewhere along the way I found out I can make money off of this.
I was doing some hardcore BDSM before I lost my virginity. One time I was suspended from the ceiling upside down. This guy was shocking me and shit. But, I was still a virgin. I just made the mistake of throwing myself too hard into that world. All just to get the answers to the questions I had about myself.
What parts of yourself do you want people to see online?
I'm an artist and would love for people to see my art. I don't even think that gets overshadowed by hypersexuality. I think that gets overshadowed by capitalism and how I have to work a fucking 9 to 5 all the time just to stay a float.
I would love for people to see that.
Did you feel like you changed a lot since you started using the name Diwa?
I changed in the sense that I feel more content with myself and with losing people. I've just had very interesting experiences as Diwa.
I got haunted once.
Haunted, haunted by what?
There was a moment where I was seeing…. something. While working I was talking with a customer and I described to him what I had been seeing. While I was talking he had every hair on his arm stand up. He paused and said, “you see him too?”
That shook me because he described the thing to me exactly how I would have described it.
And that thing continued to haunt you?
Yes. Once I was in my dancing and laughing in my living room wearing a fucking weird skirt and I had sticks in my hair. I barely even remember the night but my roommate came out and asked, “what are you laughing at?”.
I said “I am finally dancing for them”. The next morning I was not strong and could not get out of bed.
I couldn't get out of bed or stand up for days. My friend had a whole process to cleanse me. He had to put a circle of candles around my bed and I had to sleep there for a night. I don’t remember much from that time. When you get haunted by something like that it drains your energy.
I painted a picture based on the experience.
Can you describe the painting? I see it over there in the corner.
That shade of blue felt hopeless to me. I was very hopeless at the time.
I had another one, but I sold it. I sewed a red string around the edges of the painting so it wouldn't escape the painting.
What is the necklace?
I collect bones.
Like human bones?
There's a whole Englishman's spine on that door and over there is a jaw.
Fascinating! What's the story behind the bones?
I started collecting at a really lonely time in my life. A lot of the bones I collect are medical supplies that people are getting rid of. They help me stay in touch with my mortality.
When I started collecting them, I was thinking that these are people who have been forgotten. So to me, they now have a home.
Ancient Filipinos wore bones all the time. They would make gongs out of them and the handles were like human jaws. Hopefully there's a queer ancestor out there that's looking after me. It's an honor to be made into jewelry.
Are they only for use around your house?
I would wear them more to bars when I was dancing. I'm a really shy person. On stage I had to come up with a persona. The bones helped me. Maybe they were confident or rich. And then I thought, maybe, I am a rich person on stage.
It helped me discover who Diwa was.
I hope that I'm respecting them to the best of my ability because I know that other people have different ways of respecting the dead.